The Ox is Slow But the Earth is Patient

I heard that line in a movie somewhere, sometime: it wasn't one of mine. I snorted at the time I first heard it I think, but I never forgot it. Forgot the movie though. The line sorta kinda describes my state of writing being right now. Slow, slow, slow. Dragon book is stuck in the muck of my not so creative mind these days and it seems I will seize upon any and every excuse not to write. "I have to do laundry. My acid reflux is too much. I need a nap. I have to look over the Christmas decorations and see what is usable." Blah, blah, blah. I do hope the earth really is patient. Just call me OX.

So here's some other great lines from movies that resonate with my un-a-mused state and stagnating manuscript:

"Game over, man. Game over! What the f-k are we gonna do now, man?" (Aliens)

"Ask yourself, Do I feel lucky? Well do ya, punk?" (Dirty Harry)

"You'll shoot your eye out kid." (A Christmas Story)

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." (Gone With The Wind)

"I have a bad feeling about this." (Star Wars)

We'll always have Paris." (Casablanca)

"I'll have what she's having." (When Harry Met Sally)

"Come with me if you want to live." (Terminator)

"Show me the money." (Jerry Maguire)

"I'll make him an offer he can't refuse." (The Godfather)

I am imagining a scene with my muse as we sit across a battered table from each other looking over my sad 180 pages. It is late at night and raining.

MUSE: (shaking his head) That's it? That's all ya got, kid?"

ME: )pointing at the manuscript) I have a bad feeling about this. Its going nowhere. Maybe I should just try to write vampire books with silly shallow teenagers and one dimensional characters and no real action.

MUSE: (nodding) Don't forget the bad dialogue and too much narration. Like that nice Myer girl. Made a zillion bucks last year I hear. Everybody loves Edward it seems.

ME: Yeah, I'll have what she's having. Show me the money. I wish. But, I can't write that sort of stuff. So, I guess its just game over, game over, man. What the f-k am I gonna do now, man?

MUSE: Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. I'm going to Disneyworld to hang out with Tinker Belle.

ME: No, don't leave me. How will I write without you?

MUSE: (shrugging) Well, we'll always have Paris.

ME: What does that mean? We've never been to Paris. We'll always have rewrites, though. If you just don't give up on me.

MUSE: (Pointing to my desk and laptop.) Oh okay, come with me if you want to write. Sit down there at your desk and ask yourself, do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk? Just listen to what I say and you'll write your heart out, kid.

ME: (eagerly)Go ahead, make my day!

MUSE: Okay, kid, I'm gonna make you an offer ya can't refuse.

* * *

I am ready for my close up, Mr DeMille. But, my manuscript isn't. And the damn muse is cavorting with Tinker Belle I think.

Live long and prosper. (Star Trek)

Shut up Whoos, Bah Humbug, and all that gobble gobble...

Well, my little Bloggers, it looks like the holidays are fast approaching again. Sorry to say, this year the Christmas girl just ain't feelin' the love. Never mind that its still in the 80s two weeks before Thanksgiving which always makes it a stretch to imagine Santa and the reindeer and Frosty et all...right now I just can't summon up the magic no how. I feel like the Grinch nervously drumming his fingers and saying, "I must find a way to stop Christmas from coming!"

Now granted last Christmas wasn't one I remember with fondness. It was just stress stress stress. That could be part of the issue I'm having contemplating a new one coming. Last year, I somehow got committed to hosting two big parties in one week which put me into a mondo decorating frenzy as early as Thanksgiving. By bed time on the evening of the second party I was suffering from a major nosebleed that I feared wouldn't stop, but fortunately did in thirty minutes. Several times in December I had stressful encounters with ex-family that harshened my mellow. And like pretty much everyone last year, I was actively worried about the worsening recession and political atmosphere in our country. Unlike most folks, the promises of change made by President Elect Obama did not fill me with a whole lot of hope, although there was perhaps a tiny spark inside that said, "Well, maybe this time..."

Flash forward a year. Change to the nation has not come. Washington DC is still full of the usual hot air, special interest manipulation, pork, and chaos. Partisanship trumps good sense. I doubt there will be much 'goodwill to men' in the halls of power. Locally, the same folks who were out of work last year at this time still are. The housing market has continued to worsen till the majority of homes with for sale signs are short sales and foreclosures. For those who need or want to sell, drop your asking price several HUNDRED thousand from what it would have been back in 2005...big ouch. We are still at war in Iraq and in Afghanistan and we are not winning. Those of you out there in Blogland who believe that the health care bill passed by the House will pass the Senate and if it does will actually provide better, cheaper, and more available health care for all, raise your hands. I don't see any hands raised from where I sit. And how's your investment portfolio these days? Retirement looking good? Seen any bailout money trickle down to your neighbors, friends, and community? Yes, we can? Uh, maybe not.

So, where's the hope and love we're all supposed to feel at this time of year?

Now, while I am grousing and I know I am, I also count my personal blessings. For now, I have an income. I can keep my home. As far as I know, I have no dread diseases. My kids are happy, healthy, grown up, self sufficient, and have beautiful children of their own to create the Christmas magic for. Publix has egg nog ice cream and peppermint bark is appearing in the stores again. I am looking forward to getting out of town the week between Christmas and New Years and hopeful that the change will jump start my enthusiasm fro 2010.

I'm also gonna take it easier over the holidays. Doing the party for Rollins (for the second and last year) but not doing my personal party (only the 3rd time skipping it in 30 years thus far). Not decorating as much as usual inside or out. 'Grinchy Nancy' is not even gonna light the luminarias on the neighborhood light up night this year. That one because I am still angry at my neighbors over the RV left in the driveway overnight gonna turn you into Code Enforcement thing. My neighbors aren't particularly friendly 364 days a year so I've had it with the faky holiday cheer from them. (For those of you who don't live in Florida, unfriendly neighbors are the usual thing in a place traditionally transient.)

So, bah humbug. That's what I'm feeling.Somebody else carve the roast beast this year. I'm tired. Sorry but that's the way it is.

Random Acts of Violence

2009: We live in violent times, no matter where we live. Every day reports of calculated or random and senseless acts of hatred and violence are reported on the TV news, in the papers, and online. We avidly watch violence acted and re-inacted in teleplays and movies and video games. Husbands kill estranged wives, wives kill estranged husbands. Parents kill their babies. Children are abducted, raped, and murdered. People are tortured and blown up in the name of Allah or because they worship Allah. People kill other people for greed, in displaced anger, and sometimes for no reason that anyone can discern. To some degree, we have become desensitized to violence. We say "What a shame" then shrug and go out to dinner. It doesn't seem quite real. Not until there is some connection that makes it seem real.

Yesterday, a man shot multiple people at Ft. Hood in Texas. I hate to admit this, but I said, "What a shame" and turned the news channel to a show on Home and Garden Network. It didn't hit home. But, today, just before lunch, a forty year old man named Mark Rodriquez entered an office building at the Gateway Center just fifteen minutes from my home near Orlando and opened fire on the workers at an architectural firm, Reynolds, Smith and Hill. Six people were badly injured. One has died thus far. All of a sudden, the senseless violence became very personal. When I saw the news, I felt like I'd been kicked in the gut. I locked my doors. I suddenly felt unsafe.

I know the area. I know people who work there and live nearby. I drive past that building frequently. My lawyers' office is on the top floor. I wondered if he was a victim. The prep school my daughter attended is within walking distance. Police locked it down. A hotel that many friends have stayed in is across the street. The building where the crime occurred is not in a slum or area generally considered unsafe. I was reminded, as I sat glued to the TV for the next hour and a half, that no place is guaranteed safe anymore.

Here's another recent example. On Halloween night within walking distance of my home a middle aged man finished dinner with a female companion at an upscale restaurant along Park Avenue. As he made his way to his car, two men in Halloween costumes accosted him and attempted a robbery. Apparently the victim resisted and he was repeatedly stabbed with knives. He is still in the hospital and the perps remain at large.

Today's apparent nutcase was identified by an office worker and apprehended after several hours by OPD at his mother's apartment east of the city. He told police he did it because, "They left me to rot." He was referring, as far as I can tell, to having been fired or laid off two years ago by the company. Times are hard. I feel for the folks who have it tough. But that hardly justifies murder. I feel no sympathy for Mark Rodriquez. Whatever his troubles were he made the choice to do evil. His statement shows a lack of personal responsibility. Maybe he's just plain nuts. Nobody knows yet. But, he took at least one life in anger. I hope he gets justice and that the justice is harsh.

As for me, I was lucky not to have an errand at 1000 Legion Place this morning. I was lucky not to be out to dinner on Park Avenue on Halloween. I am grateful that my kids and Danny were safely somewhere else today when Mark Rodriquez made the choice to take out his personal agenda out on innocent people with a smoking gun. We were all lucky. This time. Six other people weren't lucky. Tomorrow, it may be my turn. My family's turn. Or your family's turn. In 2009, we live in violent times.

Here's a weird postscript: About the time the shootings occurred and the perp was racing away in his SUV, I was out walking my Rottweiler/Catahoula dog, Abby. She is the 'sensitive' one in the Mutley Crew. It was a beautiful sunny peaceful day. All of a sudden, she jumped up in the air, looked around, tucked tail and literally dragged me home. She was so upset, I didn't try to stop her. Probably totally coincidental, but from now on I am going to pay attention to her reactions to things much more closely.

That's all for now friends. Orlando's most recent killer is behind bars. The soldier run amok in Texas is behind bars. But, who knows what other snipers and killers, and robbers are lurking in dark corners? In conclusion, as they said on Hill Street Blues, "Be careful out there." Watch your backs. Be alert. Always. Good night, and good luck.

Happy Howl-o-ween

Trick or treat! Here's some recent photos of the day we met Laura and family at Sea World to celebrate Halloween Under the Sea. It was Bailey's first time there and PJ really enjoyed the Shamu show as well as seeing the cast members dressed up in watery halloween style for the holiday... as well as filling up his bag with chocolate goodies.

Tonight's the big night tho: PJ will cruise his neighborhood dressed as Bumblebee in Transformers and Alex is the Blues Clues dog. Bailey is a baby butterfly. Photos will be posted soon.

We brought in gyros and potato salad from Athena Chicken. We've lit the pumpkins and the spooky candles. Halloween music is playing in the other room. We're watching Dexter on DVD, eating candy, and waiting for the doorbell to ring. Its almost dark. Let the revels begin. Have a fun and safe night. Happy Howl o ween.

October Update

Hidey Ho, Boys and Girls

I uploaded some recent photos as you can see. The first is my beautiful grand daughter, Miss Bailey Lynne Brown, at six months. After that are scenes of: 1. our favorite new eatery at Flagler Beach, The Flagler Fish House, a small place where you pick out the sort of fresh fish you want from a cooler display, decide the method of cooking and sauce you want, and order it. Table service, dandy seafood dip n homemade chips and killer desserts too. Fish tacos and shrimp grits available as well. Yummy! 2. Danny's mom, Charlotte, on the almost always uncrowded dog friendly beach 3.Danny and Ginny snoozing on the RV sofa after a run down the beach at warp four after seabirds.

Random thoughts:

I was reading this morning in the paper about the latest shenanigans in DC over the health care bills. I shook my head. The lawyers and lawmakers in Washington are so far removed from the 'real' Americans no matter what they say or how hard they try to understand we the people. I venture that not a one of them has lost their job and been unable to find another. They have affordable insurance cause they get government backed insurance and discounts and perks and a healthy salary from politics and whatever other jobs they have or had. They haven't lost their home to a bank or been personally f***ked by a credit card company. Fixed incomes? Not for politicos. So, they say public option then no public option and lets fine people if they don't buy insurance. Sure, lets fine the guy who has no job, no house, and is in credit card debt for the rest of his life. Give him a tax deduction on taxes he isn't paying on income he' not getting or cant pay anyway. Yeah. How many ways can you spell clueless?

I read that they are giving President Obama a Noble prize. Now, I have nothing personally against the President but I have to say for what?!! What has he done? Lets see: we are still in Afghanistan and Iraq and we're still not winning. The economy is still in the crapper. Iran thumbs its nasty nose at us and continues to push their agenda of hate to all non Muslims. Affordable health care is still an improbability. Retirement investments and indeed all investments are still poor. We, as a country, are even more in debt than we have ever been. Chicago didn't even get the friggin' Olympics despite the millions we taxpayers paid to send Obama to Denmark to do an unnecessary speech. Nobel prize to Obama. Cause he looks good in a suit maybe. Cause he said, change is necessary and, ye we can. Talk is cheap even if nothing else is these days and apparently a Nobel prize is as well. If ya wanna give out prizes for good intentions, well, there are plenty around. But, don't results count anymore? Oh well, at least nobody is giving out anything to Mr. Im-a-dinner-jacket. And by the way, doesn't a head of state know about the use of a razor and a tailor to fit his dinner jacket properly? Iran's head dude looks more like Ackmed the taxi driver. At least our President looks presidential!

Why does anyone care about John and Kate? What a waste of time and money. They are less interesting than my neighbors.

How 'bout them Steelers?! 'm drinking my morning coffee in my yellow and black Steelers mug every morning and wishing I was in Pittsburgh where the highs are between 60 and 70 instead of in Florida where the weather is still trying to be July. It is 95 again today. Walking outside is like walking in a bowl of soup right off the burner.

I am writing and it is getting better. Credit Woodstream writers workshops for jump starting my enthusiasm again.

No vet visits this week. Can ya believe that? Last week end Ginny accidentally ripped out her stitches and had to have staples put in. But this week was peaceful.

New sy-fy shows again on Friday nights, thank goodnes. Bout time. Reading a good book, The Whiskey Rebels by David Liss. I recommend it.

TTFN Live long and prosper.

Hey bloggers,

Someone pointed out that I haven't written a Blog in awhile. So, here's a report. I have been busy climbing the Matterhorn, accepting an Emmy, curing swine flu, and learning to make cupcakes and lump free gravy. Just kidding, but then you knew that. I can't make cupcakes.

I guess I really have been busy, but I am not sure what I have accomplished. Been writing in fits and starts on the dragon book. I'd like to say its going well but I feel like I am going in a circle and not making much progress with the storyline at all. Kinda like James Joyce when a friend asked him how much he'd written that day and Joyce said he'd written seven words. The friend exclaimed, "But that's a lot for you!" and Joyce replied, "Yes, but I don't know in what order the words go in."

I've tried to organize my house a little. I've straightened up bedroom closets, kitchen closet, linen closet, and garage and it doesn't look any different. I am awash on a river of clutter. I just really need to get rid of a ton of stuff I don't use and don't want and the idea seems over whelming. The very thought sucks energy out of me. More fun was going to Michaels and Target and buying some Halloween stuff and decorating the house with it. More stuff! Insert sigh here.

During the week days I've been taking the dogs to the vet. I have been to the vet at lest seven times in the last 30 days. Really. You don't even want to think about my bills. I think I have about seven different kinds of medications I have to give each day, too.

I have been suffering from acid reflux for over a month now and yes, I know I should probably go to a doctor. That doesn't mean I will until it gets a lot worse. I've been slogging liquid antacids, chewing Tums, taking Prilosec, and trying to eat a low fat diet. Unfortunately, I love Mexican, Italian, and Greek cruisine and am addicted to coffee. I dream of chocolate. INsert another sigh here.

We've spent our weekends since I last blogged either going to various beaches or spending time with my kids and grandkids. Pictured in this entry are PJ and Chili, Laura's new puppy (Great Dane) named Clyde, and myself going down the giant slide at PJ's recent birthday party. This week end, we're off to the beach again, this time Flagler, with Danny' mom, Charlotte.

I am getting a little less discontent with Florida as each week passes. Maybe I am just resigned to the realities of the economy and all the improbabilities of a move. The fact that it (the weather) was a little cooler the past several days has helped elevate my mood. I am hoping summer weather is gone for the year...or a least for a week or two.

So, there's the update. That's all, folks. If I had to name it, I would say 'Status Quo'. Hopefully, I can come up with something more exciting soon. Say you don't care if its true or not and I'll get working on it!

Live long and prosper.

Well, it has been a little over a month since my trip to the north and my longing to not be here in Florida has not decreased a bit or twit. I walk out into the extreme heat and humidity, either stuffed up or dripping from allergies with my head hanging lower than it should, frustrated and longing to go home where the view from my windows is mountains and hills, the pines look like Christmas trees instead of cocktail sticks, where I can breath the air without suffering, and wear a sweater instead of sweat. Enter a sigh here. There's nothing to be done about it and I don't like feeling so powerless. So, color me discontent.

With the economy the way it is, selling my house is not a viable possibility. Yeah, I know. The voice of reason keeps telling me that. Folks aren't moving into Central Florida. They are moving out. 50% of all houses for sale are in foreclosure. At least mine is paid for and at least for now, I can pay the taxes and household expenses without selling my soul to the Devil. I should be grateful even if I am understandably angry that as my house's value goes down the real estate taxes go up. I am grateful. Just restless. My life is tick tick ticking away and I want to enjoy it before it is tick tock gone.

I tell myself that moving to the beach would be a good compromise and it probably would be. I am going to look further into possibilities in North Florida. Close enough to drive back here and see my two daughters and their hubbies and three children whenever I want. Somewhere where the sea air helps my allergies. Somewhere with a different view. Ocean is good. I like sand between my toes. Even if visions of my hilly childhood home place continues to haunt my dreams.

So here's the plan: spruce up the back yard as soon as it is cool enough to work out there. Touch up paint the nicks and scratches inside. Clear out the garage and organize the storage room nearby. Watch the market. Hope that change is on the horizon.

On another tack, I hope to complete my dragon book before another birthday rolls around. I've got a lot to do. So, ttfn. As they say, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Here I go.