Saturday, February 20, 2010

Push Comes To Shove In The Time of Cholera

Hello fellow bloggers,
Haven't posted this week, 'cause I've been a bit under the weather. Got vertigo, then major headache, swollen glands, sore throat, and to top it all off six (that's right six) nosebleeds. You know I hate going to doctors, right? Well, when blood came pouring down from my nose at dinner on Thursday for absolutely no reason, ruining my appetite for finishing my Potatoes Strogonoff (made with low fat milk and turkey instead of meat), I reluctantly gave in to Danny's suggestion that he drive me to an urgent care center. I am glad I went. Can you guess what was wrong with me?

Major sinus infection. My turbinates are a wreck, my dears. I am now taking Augmentin tablets that are the size of burritos (well almost) and am feeling a whole lot better. And coincidentally or not, since I've been on the antibiotics, my acid reflux is a whole lot better. I've been testing it or teasing it or torturing it, you decide. Tortellini with pesto and chicken, chocolate popcorn, three cups of coffee, a naked chicken burrito with sour cream, beans, salsa, guacamole, and corn, chips and queso...and I am hardly having any reflux at all. Makes me wonder if an infection wasn't a contributing cause of it all all along.

Well, since I am somewhat focused on illness these days here is a somewhat relevant poem. Live long and prosper.


If one bug doesn’t get you

Another one sure will.

Don’t wait until your fever’s high,

Until you’re really ill.

Just get out your insurance card.

Avoid a grim surprise.

Then hasten to a doctor.

Make sure you’re immunized.

There’s lots of possibilities

To catch a deadly germ.

There could be microbes in the air

That render you infirm.

It might be plague or Asian flu,

A chicken pox or worse.

So hurry now and get your keys,

if your co pay’s in your purse.

Watch out, be careful what you eat,

don't swallow an amoeba.

E coli might be in the meat,

or maybe Salmonella.

Keep your shoes upon your feet.

Look around you everywhere.

A rusty nail is in the grass,

A spider’s on the stair.

A rattle snake might bite you,

A tree fall on your head,

There’s endless opportunity,

For fate to strike you dead.

I’m not telling you to worry,

Just do everything you can.

Make sure your premiums are paid,

You’ve got the best health plan.

Make sure your heart is ticking right,

Your arteries are clear,

Do check your bones aren’t thinning.

You must have those tests, it’s clear!

They’ll poke you and they’ll prod you

They’ll stick things up your rear

Take your temp and drain some blood,

They’re thorough, never fear.

Although those tests are nasty,

You’ve got to pay the price.

Disease is all around you,

And dying isn’t nice.

You’ve got to change your habits,

And exercise a lot.

Keep stresses at a minimum,

Or rest in family plot!

Nancy Wayman Deutsch

from Between The Lines

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