Thursday, January 1, 2009

Color Claudine Clueless

Here's my laugh of the first day of the new year. Danny and I went to a New Year's Day party. The hosts live on one of our crazy bumpy designed in the very early twentieth century winding roads which are a bit narrower than the new streets. There were so many people parked curbside that we had to go around the corner onto another (wider) street and park several blocks away from the house. We parked in a perfectly logical place in a long row of cars being careful not to block the driveway of the house we parked in front of. I noticed one of the typical newer infill "McMansions" on the lake side of the street opposite and commented on its size. When we went back to the car several hours later there was a note under the windshield. Note read, "very stupid place to park, ur lucky I didn't hit ur car." I imagine the cars in front and in back of us probably got the notes too. Now, we're not stupid. There was plenty of room to get in and out of all the driveways on both sides of that street. I doubted the note came from the house we were parked in front of. I suspected it was Ms or Mr McMansion, annoyed that he or she had to actually stop texting on the cell phone and be a careful driver for once. And on number one hangover day, too.

Once Danny stopped muttering things like GD friggin entitled overconsuming Republicans, he wanted to write a note in reply. I said, let it go. I turned the note over. It was written on a charge sales receipt from the Euro Day Spa and Salon had the writers name and Visa information on it!

So, thanks for the laugh Claudine Gwinn, paying client number Q13129. Here's a New years tip for you and all the other day spa Barbies: the white mega SUV parked next to your driveway is a gas guzzling relic and is oh so not cool anymore. And I know how to spell you're. And clueless nitwit, too. And for future reference, its probably not a good idea to write hostile notes to people who could get enough personal information off them to access your identity and credit cards! Fortunately for you, I am honest sort, I don't give a rat's ass and I don't need ur identity or ur money. But, you may end up as a character in one of my stories.

Happy New Year.

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