Thursday, November 29, 2007

The Case of the Missing Muffins

"Do you know The Muffin Man? The one who lives on Drury Lane?" Recognize these lines from the movie, Shrek? They were spoken in a scene featuring the height challenged prince torturing The Gingerbread Man.

Well, tonight I made gingerbread cookies. They aren't very snappy since I never made gingerbread before, but they are edible if soft. I ate three. Maybe I creamed the butter too much. I was watching the Youtube Republican candidates for President debate while I performed my culinary non miracles. Distracting that. On the other hand, soft gingerbread cookies sorta fits the Republicans. Nothing snappy in the bunch...well maybe a little spice from Ron Paul who doesn't have a rat's ass of getting the nomination. Could Mitt Romney be any more clueless than he is? Don't answer that. Makes me almost ashamed to be a registered Republican. Wait a minute, I am ashamed to be a registered Republican after the fiasco Washington has become in the last seven years. The party makes me want to toss my cookies in so many ways.

Well, back to tonight's story. The cookies done, my attention wandered around ten and I switched over to one of my fave shows, Life. After Life was over I walked Chili. Then Danny and I locked her in the kitchen while we walked Ginny and Abby. All through both walks I kept thinking about having an English muffin. I'd bought a six pack earlier in the day at Albertson's Grocery while perusing the bread aisle. I hadn't had an English muffin in maybe six months and the thought of one lightly toasted, butter melting and sinking into the nooks and muffin crannies with a light coating of Orange marmalade made me salivate like Pavlov's dog.

Well presumably Pavlov's pup was better controlled than mine. When we returned, no muffins.
Chili must have jumped up and pulled the bag off the kitchen counter. All six muffins were missing. Just a few crumbs on the kitchen floor.

Yes, she ate all six. My 37 pound Blue Heeler ate six English muffins. I couldn't eat six English muffins at one sitting.

At least I didn't get the ones with raisins in them. Raisins are toxic to dogs. I wish I knew the Muffin Man though. The one who lives on Drury lane. I'd get some more muffins from him since the store is closed.

Instead, I have been reduced to eating Honey Nut Cheerios for my bedtime snack. Bummer.
Also bummer to have a fat farting dog lying on the floor by my side as I type this. From now on, all bread goes in the bread box.

Live long and prosper.

PS: I included some pictures of the living room, partially decked out for Christmas. They have absolutely nothing to do with muffins, gingerbread, Republicans, or flatulent food thieving dogs.

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